Counseling Cattle Call, PTSD, Rank Vaginas, Disrespect, Lies About Housing, So Sick of the BS

I tried to figure out how to put a bubble over the cat which says 'those bastards'.

Over the last year this was me writing about my experiences at the Interfaith Sanctuary. Sometimes I was too traumatized to write and sometimes too sick or both. Right now I am so sick of all of it, the bullying, the lies, the constantly changing rules, not being told the rules have changed, the gaslighting,the negative effects on my health, the lack of caring from city hall, the filth, the viruses, the noise, the women who don't bathe and have rank smelling vaginas that waft into my bunk causing gagging and the egocentric lack of common courtesy such as talking on their phones after lights out or early while others are trying to sleep. The noise level and the foul body odors in the dorm are just unbelievable, instead of talking many yell like they are putting on a show. Oh the drama over nothing or based on poor judgment. They have policies that spread the viruses quite efficiently, "That's how we've always done it." If I mention I have a defective immune system and so do others they immediately start discounting my concerns which are very valid.

Then there is the BS from the director Dan about how there is housing for the homeless all over Boise. He says he finds someone housing "every day." I asked for a list of those landlords, so far haven't gotten one. Then more BS. Since Dan was getting on my nerves I began giving him PTSD ranting versions of my stories so he asked me if I wanted counseling. Don't make me start the ranting stories about trying to get counseling for PTSD since 2005. I haven't even started about what happened in New Mexico or why I left Alaska a story that is very hard to believe but true. I saw a very good psycholigist here from Maryland, but the constant changing of my appointments and other issues ended that. I saw a lovely woman at CWA who left the agency, but the second one told me since I read books and was resourceful I did not need counseling, yea she really did say that to a former RN and while psych was not my primary specialty it was one of them. Total BS. This is what goes on.

The crazy community clinics in Alaska did not even call back in three places. The misdiagnoses because don't they always have those poorly trained social workers who don't have the education and experience to diagnose people in those clinics. They are utterly clueless. Then on top of it I have neurological issues that make sorting out what is going on the job of a psychiatrist, not an incompetent social worker or psychologist. Every place a different misdiagnosis, then the same story has played out here. I was suicidal  in Alaska for the second time which BTW is SOP due to the abuse and horrible conditions and what you have to observe happening to others, the corrupt government, the massive drunks and corrupt/inept law enforcement and the massive bullies. This social worker...get this...tells me it would be OK to hitch hike from Homer Alaska to Anchorage while suicidal because I was not young and beautiful. I said, "That's a crazy thing to say to a patient. She then bolted out of the room, never saw that crazy woman again, she is probably doing some crazy thing with a patient right now. I worked with psychopaths, some of them prey on older women and other types of predatory individuals target whoever they may see as vulnerable. I was trying to get to a program in Anchorage where to my surprise the psychiatrists were able to diagnose me with something that made sense. They also told me I needed to write a book, now I have material for two or three books. Having been a supervisor of an acute adult psych unit I was well aware of what my diagnoses were before going there and it is super obvious. But that does not stop hacks at the incompetent clinic for the homeless, Terry Reilly from making two misdiagnoses within five minutes of my arriving. Neither of them could have been made even if he had spent and hour with me while being way out of his area of expertise. They fired me as a patient and I will be writing more about that.

Dan told me this Affinity Inc has someone he can get me an appointment with and I ask if they have anything to do with Terry Reilly. He says no. Then the students tell me there is an appointment made for me on Monday at 8 AM. I had something to do that morning, but did not do it to go. I already knew it was probably going to not work out as nothing ever does with any of these agencies that "help" the homeless. I even told someone she will either not show up or be late and I can't take anymore of this crap. It is never about helping the homeless, it is about managing us, pathologizing us and criminalizing us. So I leave for a while and go back to the shelter a little early. While waiting, a few minutes before she was supposed to be there staff tells me she called to say she was coming. I ask what that means, is she going to be late...what? He doesn't know. I waited a while, then another person showed up obviously to meet with her. Then I say, "Oh, I see, this is a cattle call." And yes it was apparently more people showed up after I left saying, "How do I get out of this gulog?" I AM SO SICK OF BEING TREATED IN A DISRESPECTFUL WAY BY EVERYONE BECAUSE THE HOMELESS ARE NOT SEEN AS EVEN BEING HUMAN. I worked my whole life since high school with health problems until the abusive policies of this country and Alaska mostly affecting the Native people gave me PTSD.

What I needed long ago was housing and to not be exposed to the abuse and trauma that continues, layer upon layer here in 'Merica. I need to get the hell away from all these people who make very bad decisions that harm me. I need to do the things that treat ME/cfs, be able to sleep, eat healthy food, have some peace. I thought the problems in Alaska were due to it being backwards, but the same abuse, the same filth, the same lack of competent health care and the same lack of housing is here in Idaho. The treatment that works for PTSD is to give the person control of their life, but instead we get trauma piled on top of trauma for years on end. At the shelter we have no control, even though they put up a sign that says only we can control the rest of our lives.

The bad behavior of some of the women is not supervised so that limits choices even further. I have better judgment than all the staff put together, but am not allowed to make my own choices about housing, toxic chemicals, protecting myself from viruses, protecting myself from second hand cigarette smoke, protecting myself from sociopaths, toxic people and more. Even what I bring in for personal hygiene is controlled. I can't even use a hair drier. I cant write at night. I can't do the things I normally do, nothing. I can't even read a fucking book at night due to the junior high slumber party in the dorm every night and it has gotten horrible. There was a ban on books at one point, but that only lasted 24 hours. Can you even imagine such a thing? All this goes on while the rank va-jay-jay odor wafts into my bunk. I have complained about that odor every day for weeks now and it just gets worse. It has been an ongoing problem over the last year and the shower policy went from Nazi to nada without a word being said with regard to changing. Excusifying is the response to complaints.

I saw the police harassing people who were sleeping outside. One said they gave them tickets. That day I walked by and said to the cop the reason they are out here is the shelters are hell holes. There are other reasons people sleep in cars or outside, but day in and day out the craziness, the abuse and putting your property in danger of being thrown away or stolen makes the Interfaith Sanctuary a torture chamber of trauma. That shelter is crazy making. It makes mentally healthy people nuts, so imagine the effect it has on the mentally ill.

No social or revolutionary movement succeeds without a core of people who will not betray their vision and their principles. They are the building blocks of social change. They are our only hope for a viable socialism. They are willing to spend their lives as political outcasts. They are willing to endure repression. They will not sell out the oppressed and the poor. They know that you stand with all of the oppressed—people of color in our prisons and marginal communities, the poor, unemployed workers, our LGBT community, undocumented workers, the mentally ill and the Palestinians, Iraqis and Afghans whom we terrorize and murder—or you stand with none of the oppressed. They know when you fight for the oppressed you get treated like the oppressed. They know this is the cost of the moral life, a life that is not abandoned even if means you are destined to spend generations wandering in the wilderness, even if you are destined to fail. Chris Hedges

Harassment and Near Loss of Bed Due to Obvious Retaliation

The first part I took from a previous post on April 23rd, the rest was written on April 25th as posted.  April 25th is the day Judge Ben Esch or as I called him Judge Ex Parte Esch died, the judge from Nome Alaska who participated in a conspiracy to have me wrongfully arrested and imprisoned three days after I filed an appeal in a case of injustice. He was the judge who was found to have shown favortism in case of one of the Fairbanks Four, Eugene Vent. That was nothing compared to what he did in my case. On that day another type of injustice was attempted at the Interfaith Sanctuary.

Explanations of things I mention in the post:

The guy who says he will not discuss my suitcase is Dan who just last night feigned he couldn't even remember it. He also said that when I first came to the shelter I said I got everything I ever needed at the shelter in Alaska. See my previous post to understand that is most certainly not what I said. The social worker I refer to is Tim. I can't edit the errors as this is from screen shots. The story about the food and motorcycles was some biker club who came and had a barbecue. A bunch of us were in line and they suddenly just stopped serving food. They all got on their motorcycles to leave, revving them and she runs over to them because all men got attention from her and we were all looking at each other like what is going on. They then leave and she knows we were standing there in line for food and is dinking around. I ask her what is going on, that we are in line for the food and the guys left. She says they ran out of food and went to get more. I said no they didn't, they left and BTW they had. She just left us standing there, it was so bizarre. The fan bully was a woman who stayed up most of the night on her tablet, put a comforter over herself and turned a fan on her bed because she was too hot. The comforter was to hide the tablet. But I was in the bunk above her with a fan on the ceiling over me, so that second fan aimed at that fan caused a wind storm on my bunk causing nose bleeds, a sore throat, chapped lips etc. I complained about this for months and they took no action, in fact they didn't even take the time to come in and see what was going on in the middle of the night. There was other bullying that went on along with it from multiple women in the dorm with them frequently saying, "Snitches get stitiches." The staff knew about that too. They finally moved ME to another bed. I like that bed better and the snitches get stitches crap ended. There was a lot of threatening crap including a woman who would just talk crazy crap at me, they poured coffee on my plastic bins several times, pulled the duct tape off and put garbage on them. That went on for months.

After They Destroyed My Work Towards Justice and Housing I Promised Dan Ault at the Interfaith Sanctuary About a Year Ago To Stay and Document the Abuse and Craziness, Then Did It

I have been an activist around workplace bullying, prison reform and justice reform along with political blogging for years. I helped get rid of two serial bullies at Brother Francis Shelter in Anchorage Alaska. The psychopathic one was finally fired after harming/torturing homeless people for years. They knew and allowed it. The public has no idea that most homeless shelters due to the clients being mostly invisible, being treated as pariahs and being blamed for their plight are managed by bullying and it can be very brutal and inhumane. Here is an article written by the amazing Anne Hillman of Alaska Public Media which discusses some of my efforts. There were several of us who spoke up about the bullying which actually was also torture. I was generally the main target just like at the Interfaith Sanctuary due to my personality making me an immediate target. The co-serial bully of the fired abuser was eventually made to heel. I wrote over 200 grievances which were ignored and left phone messages at night to the director of Catholic Social Services while sobbing, the Archbishop had a nasty woman blocking anyone from telling him about the abuse, so I stopped any priest I saw and told them what was going on. Anne Hillman who wrote the above article eventually came and spent a night at the shelter. The reporters in Boise are spineless. There were two who I tried to convince that telling the truth about how the homeless are treated would be of great service. They then went in the one person bathroom where we were together so I could not hear them discuss what they were working on. I said, "Did you two girls get your hair and makeup straightened out?"

 Some blog posts about being homeless in Anchorage Alaska:

I Am Now Homeless, BFS Bullying Assholery, Don Young Wants Wolves to go After the Homeless

Homeless In Anchorage Alaska Part 1: The Bus to Hell/Brother Francis Shelter Bus Stops

Homeless in Anchorage Alaska Part 2/There's An Angry Homeless Person in the Lobby

Homeless in Anchorage Alaska/Part 3/Brother Francis Shelter Can't be Fixed As Long As CSS is in Control of it.

Homeless In Anchorage Alaska Part 4/The Sleepng Mats at Brother Francis Shelter Are Filthy and Much More

Prison reform posts, just a sample of them:

Governor Walker's Coverup. For Almost a Decade the Palin and Parnell Administrations Knew Inmates in the Prisons Were Dying and Being Harmed.

Alaska DOC Homicide, Death by Face Down Restraint and Fat Asses (Part 1)

Part 2: Alaska DOC Homicide, Death by Face Down Restraint and Fat Asses

There was a massive amount on injustice including my own story:

Alaska After All These Years is Finally Counting and Testing the Stockpiled Rape Kits, You Know Like They Just Noticed Them, SOP

MY OBJECTION LETTER ABOUT A CANDIDATE FOR POLICE CHIEF IN SOLDOTNA IS DEDICATED TO THE PENINSULA CLARION ONE OF THE MOST CRAPTASTIC NEWSPAPERS IN ALASKA

ANNIVERSARY DATES: RELIVING THE TRAUMA OF INJUSTICE AND CORRUPTION

My Experiences With The Alaska Department Of Probation: Part One

This was just a tiny sampling. Then there was the political stuff and making fun of politicians, especially Sarah Palin. I am waiting to see if Donald Trump appoints her, it would be comedian heaven, the Wasilla Hillbillies in Washington D.C. 

I was tortured, harassed and abused at the Interfaith Sanctuary last November starting the day I arrived. My civil cases and FOIA requests I had been working on for years to restore my good name, get justice, expose evil corrupt people and fix problems that made it difficult for me to rent housing due to social disabilities were taken from behind a locked door and thrown in the dumpster without informing myself or the others whose property was in long term storage that they were doing so. How is it there are no laws regulating these non-profit industrial complex shelters of abuse? I insisted the Boise Police Department do their job and investigate the theft of my property which included more than those files. Lies and BS to try and blame me for their unethical and criminal behavior were spread around. 

Dan Ault tried to run me out of the shelter starting immediately and it has not stopped for a year, it continues. I was the victim and he should have been run out of the shelter not me. I told him that rather than go over to Jesus Jail instead I would stay and document what went on there. AND I DID FOR A YEAR. 

There is no doubt Dan thought I was full of crap, but he did not know who I am, a very determined, justice and truth seeking person who believes that our country should treat everyone with respect and kindness. This should certainly be true for the homeless who rather than what the neoliberals and neocons would like the public to believe, and many, many do, are mostly not the parties responsible for their homelessness. The mentally ill, addicted, intellectually impaired, elderly and disabled have had services restricted, did not get the help they needed, no low income housing was built for three decades and facilities where many could have been looked after were closed. Then the areas in the cities where old hotels, boarding houses and other low cost housing were located were gentrified creating more homeless people out of those barely surviving on the edges of society.I actually searched for monthly hotels and boarding houses all over the country with no luck, they are gone.

The plan was to take what I had written and put it into a book, but I nearly died last winter. Certainly no responsibility has been taken to try and prevent the spread of pathogens in the shelter, but instead they do what they can to insure their spread. Considering I have immune system problems and there is no housing despite what Dan Ault or Tim say, then the events of last night made all of this very clear to me, I may die, so will be posting much of what I have already written along with current events. 

The abuse continues. If they throw me out of the shelter it will not be for a legitimate reason, but it will not prevent my telling the story as it's already been documented. Really I have quite enough they can stop the assholery any time. 

UPDATE: Faulty Documentation System at Interfaith Sanctuary Results in People Losing Their Beds, No Backup Documentation of Chores on Weekends, The Case of the Missing Coffee Pot

Recently the overseers of the shelter have changed their check in system and chore documentation system to digital. Many mistakes have been made and their mistakes can be very traumatizing to the homeless person who is accused of not following their rules or lying. In the past before they started using their electronic systems they made mistakes including stating I did not do a chore when I had actually done more than what was required, probably not a mistake considering who the person was that was in charge that day. In my case, it is often as my mother use to say, "accidentally on purpose." Later due to their massive crazy illogical rules I stopped doing those extra chores instead of one and began just doing a regular one, then the director, Dan made a comment about my helping them out as if I was just lazy. They screw people over who are doing extra and then make comments like that.

Three times now they did not document that I was in the bed I've been in for months and once even had another person's name down as having slept in that bed. The next staffer often knows better and changes it, but three times would statistically show this is not random. Odd things like this happens, paperwork for a boarding house was filled out, then staff asks me if I have heard anything, no whatever the students do is most likely filtered through the two serial bullies and sabotaged. If I ask staff questions to clarify rules I never receive an answer. After my request for a letter of residency I was asked by them six times if I got it, of course I didn't. Finally got one on another shift. It's a huge shit-show. This happens to others and a man was put out of his bunk due to an error or false documentation, last night another who was in the bed the night before did not get documented and I have no idea if he lost his bed. I did make the comment at the desk that lots of errors were happening to try and push them in the direction of not taking that guy's bed. If there was a legitimate reason fine, but the documentation is a Charley Foxtrot.

Just like throwing away people's property based on false information and lack of empathy or ethics no action is taken for a system to double check the information and prevent traumatizing people. This is very dehumanizing. They do not care about the homeless but instead about how things look to the public or other agencies, it's all about the performance, the mask of normalcy, the mask of altruism.

When we do chores the person hired to supervise us Monday through Friday has a paper list that we can sign as a back up to errors. For a long time after I nearly lost my bed due to my chore not being documented I simply took a picture of the documentation so they could not pull any crap, then they made a rule we could not do that. That is how it goes, whatever I come up with to protect myself causes a rule change to negate it.

People make mistakes, even nurses make mistakes when giving medication which is why there is a system called the Five Rights used to help prevent medication errors and still they happen even while trying hard to be perfect. On top of errors, in a system of bullying the targets will be sabotaged. On the weekends the kid who is on refuses to use that back up sheet. He was very nasty Sunday when I tried to explain to him once again that eventually there will be a mistake and someone will wrongfully lose their bed and talked to me in a patronizing way, "Celia, I've had this conversation with you before and I'm not having it again." So my response was, "OK then, I'll discuss it publicly" AND I AM. He's a bully, makes up false things to say, tries to sound smart by talking about the PH of the cleaning chemicals when it has nothing to do with whatever you are discussing and he is illogical about many things. This is the only staff at the shelter all night on the weekends. The other staff on nights is not a bully and treats people in a humane way, but also must be bossy at times. 

Sunday the coffee pot was reported as missing so there was no coffee. As soon as I heard that I thought, well of course it is, but they know where it's lost at. On Sunday we sleep in an extra hour and then those of us who do chores can't do them until 8 AM rather than the usual, 7 AM. That means people have to wait about two hours later than normal to go get coffee if they don't have any way to make it with them. I bring one of those coffee bags like a tea bag in case of a problem but many don't have any resources for such things and people who have to do chores can't leave to get coffee or food and then come back at chore time. The rumor was the coffee pot was in the director's office behind a locked door and no one had the key, but now the new rumor is it was in the room right across from the desk which is not locked. That room has a big window too. I can't say for sure because I did not witness the events. Why was it in that room or in some room? Well it is normally in the laundry room or hallway and two women came to do a demonstration in the women's dorm who are nurses with knowledge of the germ theory of disease and they probably did not want them to see how they keep the coffee maker and cart in the laundry room or hallway next the the bathroom and dirty laundry cans. Interesting since when I point those kinds of things out I never, ever know what I'm talking about according to them. OH, BUT I DO! Of that there is no doubt.

How does one lose a large coffee pot? 
Perhaps they were using it for something else, a terrarium, for cooking hot dogs or maybe they are mainlining the coffee.

Not too long ago the coffee pot was not working, same staff. If I was running the shelter I would contact the thrift stores and tell them to call me if they get a large coffee maker in and keep an extra one around in case of a breakdown. I know, how oddly prepared of me, but I did work at the Boy Scouts headquarters in Irving Texas right after they moved from New Jersey in the 1970s for a while with a couple lesbians and the Cat Lady of Flower Mound, hehe about the lesbian part considering recent history. I answered mail in the subscription department for Pedro the donkey, their mascot, those little boys can be really abusive to Pedro when they don't get their magazines, accusing him of being drunk and of all things, being a jackass.

Just who the hell do I think I am? I think I am a human being who does not deserve how I have been treated. I have been an anti-bullying activist for years and it started right after I developed PTSD from workplace bullying and the massive numbers of raped women and children I dealt with in Nome Alaska, oh along with the cops dumping the drunks on me in the ER where I had to do battle with them while trying to take care of the ER patients and up to seven patients in the clinic at the same time. It was dangerous for all of us. Now after I wrote about it and ranted in the newspaper for over a decade along with making phone calls to legislators and governors who were told by the Department of Law not to talk to me and after being under surveillance due to my activism the sleepers have awakened. Loretta Lynch talked to the Native women in that region, IHS made an appearance, oh and somehow HHS managed to show their faces. In the meantime, I was traumatized over and over including being wrongfully imprisoned in an attempt to shut me up about many things while my cat was harmed to the point I had to put her to sleep. I never shut up and I never forget.

Update: I posted yesterday about returning to the shelter three times to be told it was not documented that I was in the bed I slept in the night before. Once they told me a particular name of a woman instead of mine was documented. Last night I came in and they said I was not documented as having been in the bed I slept in and that same woman's name was in my place. I do not recognize her name and there are only a total of 25 women possible at the shelter, but I do not know all of them. There were four students behind the desk, sometimes there have been six which is an even bigger shit show. The ones at the desk were about to change the documentation to my name when one who has been there longer told them oh no this Alice woman was in that bed. This student knows I have been there for the whole time she has been doing this crazy clinical rotation. This is an indication of targeting. The students would have taken my bed and since the shelter only has three places on the floor for women (but two rooms for men) I would have been out of the shelter and could not have even left my things in the locker as they would have thrown them in the dumpster. Fortunately a regular staff was at the facility, a man who has some ethics and empathy and he intervened.

The two students at the desk tell me to go check my bed to see if the same linens are on it. I was there round 7 PM and they don't assign new beds until 8 PM so that makes no sense. I tried to explain this but the clueless are in charge...unsupervised.

I got very upset and told them about publishing a post that discussed the problem before I came in and they did it to me again. Regular staff have told me the problem is pure incompetence, but why in the world are those in charge of the shelter allowing the homeless people to be tortured and bullied in such a despicably cruel way? Because that is what they do in general and are now using a team of students from Boise State as a barrier to protect themselves from blame. Bullies and psychopaths use incompetence as an excuse to cover for corruption. It is just the same as how some agencies and governments are run. The more chaos they create the more they can get away with.

I was a whistle blower in Deming New Mexico due to the police being the drug dealers. The agencies including the FBI did not care about it and told me to do something which would have resulted in my death, incompetence. A lot went on and I was of course targeted and two good cops saved my life by giving me information about their plans so I ran. My property has been in storage there since 2002. These same bad cops stole $300,000 in HIDTA (drug war money), when the feds came to investigate the paperwork the cops staged a break in and it was gone, chaos to protect themselves. Then a village next door ended up with a big bust and they were not just dealing drugs, but also selling guns to probably the Sinaloa Cartel. The feds knew these cops were selling drugs and connected to the cartel and allowed it to go on for years after I told them. I doubt I was the only one who did. Nothing was done, incompetence to cover corrupt programs from the DOJ. The politicians and DA also did nothing. Here is why, Fast and Furious was a cover lie for the feds real program of giving guns to the Sinaloans so they could kill off the other cartel members. This went on a long time and then they incarcerated El Chapo after years of using him. Remember how he escaped once. Chaos/incompetence.

At the same time all this was going on my employer Community Health Systems was committing Medicaid fraud. I was also whistleblowing about this. The agencies did nothing. One asked me to illegal bring documents out of the hospital. I refused unless they got a court order. Nothing happened, except they told my employer. When hired I agreed to float from the ICU to the ER, but not the regular floor unless I was just taking tasks for them. Several suits showed up from the corporate headquarters and made a semicircle around me. This is a very odd scenario in and ICU BTW. They told me I had to float to the floor, I reminded them of the agreement, refused and they completed their constructive discharge. Then they began spreading false rumors about me, the two good cops came and told me knowing it was a lie and having seen this before...chaos...diversion, don't look at us, look at her. Then the hospital sent a lawyer from Roswell to my house who asked me a bunch of questions. When he left I was thinking, what the hell was that about and what do they think I know.

Years later I found out what they thought I might know about. The feds knew these people were committing Medicaid fraud, I told them and they allowed it to continue. What I did not know is they were also running a scam involving some politicians in Deming that had to do with getting federal Medicaid funds to the tune of $350,000,000. An insider filed a whistleblower lawsuit and is now very wealthy. That could have been prevented but instead the feds allowed me to be harmed. I was harassed and harmed by both the bad cops and the corrupt predatory health care corporation at the same time in an attempt to intimidate me and run me out of Deming, I lost my job and had to leave the town I wanted to stay in to save my life.

The same thing is going on at this shelter and has been since the day I got there. Every night when we go back to the shelter there is no telling what will go on. It is very stressful and a horrible situation to have to go through day in and day out.

The ethical whistleblower is always harmed, but in the end gets to like himself or herself.  

Gaslighting From the Director of the First Albertons Store, Joe Albertson Turned Over in His Grave, All Homeless People are Considered Thieves, The Homeless Fun Continues

Yesterday I wrote about my experience being falsely accused of shoplifting at Albertsons. It has been very upsetting to me. I called this morning to request a copy of the video surveillance while I was in the store, the director of that store told me the clerk asking me, what about the lunch meat, was not accusing me of shoplifting, that their employees are trained not to accuse people of shoplifting. She thought I had lunch meat in my bag after presenting her with my purchases, but the director of the store claims that is not an accusation of shoplifting. I told him look, she specifically asked me about lunch meat and then gave me a crazy story about how customers shop, put their purchases into their bags and then take them out at the register to pay for them. No store allows that unless it is one of those obvious shopping bags. He told me people steal backpacks, put their purchases in them and go to the cash register. So do they think I stole the gym bag I have been carrying around in the morning from them? I have never seen backpacks for sale at an Albertson's, in fact one of the reasons I prefer Fred Meyers over them is their very limited stock in the food area. They do have a salad bar where Fred Meyer does not which is one of the main reasons I DID shop there.

He tried to gaslight me by saying that asking someone, what about that lunch meat, is not accusing them of shoplifting. He said the same thing the clerk said yesterday that is really sick and disgusting, "I'm sorry you took it that way." Really!?  Do they think I'm stupid because I can assure them this is not the case and I recognize gaslighting right away. No, she said what she said and according to the director Albertsons trains them to say what she said. The manager further confirmed they train people to play word games in an attempt to accuse and then say the accused is just confused and taking things the wrong way, they are over reacting, yes we said something but you know she is just an ignorant homeless person. Hey, how ignorant to I appear now buddy?

He kept saying someone in their loss prevention department would contact me, no one from Albertsons at the store level or corporate level has contacted me. Why would I need to talk with her as there was no loss, only accusations and gaslighting which is a form of lying and attempted brain washing?

I told this director that judges are pretty smart and would be able to interpret the words she used and that it is an obvious accusation. If they ask if you have anything else that is not an accusation, asking, what about the lunch meat is a specific accusation in which the clerk acknowledged that she believed I had taken lunch meat and secreted it in my duffel bag. So he can kiss my ass. I did tell him that Joe Albertson had just turned over in his grave about what he said to me.

I also asked the manager why the person in charge of the store yesterday did not even bother to ask for my name and phone number when I told him what happened and at that point I was too shocked to even function. I know the answer, so they could make their attempt to just blow me off because they are still trying to do that.

The reason why this happened was I am homeless and they believe as does most of the community that all homeless people are thieves. In Boise most people believe the homeless are all addicts and alcoholics as well, but statistics show it is actually about 1/3 of the homeless population everywhere which is higher that the general 1/10 of the population. Furthermore, some of them were not using chemicals until they were homeless and treated inhumanely. Many of the homeless are traumatized individuals forced to live in a shelter and they are essentially trauma factories, over and over and over until people are just a shell of their former selves.

I certainly found out at the laundromat on 16th about the prejudices against the homeless from businesses. Due to wanting to get away from annoying people at an unstaffed laundromat I left a load of laundry there and called to find out about it. This is when the owner let me know what she thinks about the homeless people she makes her living off of, "It's mostly homeless in that area and they steal everything." Then I told her look lady I'm homeless and do not steal anything." In fact my money has been stolen at two laundromats in Boise and after screwing me they treated me very rudely. At that particular laundromat where lots of homeless people do their laundry the owners charge 25 cents for five minutes of drying, but laundromats in other areas charge 25 cents for ten minutes of drying. Also when setting the washers the price of the load of laundry goes up if you use hot water. HEY LAUNDROMAT LADY, WHO IS THE THIEF NOW?

*****
Meanwhile back in hellish homeless shelter land I was able to sleep longer last night. The ear plugs I got from Walmart did help but apparently the intentional bed bouncing has stopped. I am still exhausted and Albertsons did not help any. I will not shop there as it is obviously not safe for me, so had to walk a long distance somewhere else with ME/cfs, thanks.

********
In Alaska three days after filing an appeal a prosecutor, a public defender and a crooked judge all working out of the Nome court system and using two sociopathic brothers in Homer Alaska set up a false scenario to have me wrongfully arrested and imprisoned. It included an ex parte hearing that they never informed me of, very unethical. While I was locked up and tortured by the state of Alaska my cat was starved and tortured by one of the sociopaths who stole about half of my property and put the rest out in the rain. They were my landlords in a lodge where I had gone without heat, water, electricity and it was quite unsafe. BTW, those are the kinds of places people who are low income, people like me on Social Security Disability get to live. Bad things happen and we end up homeless over and over, so after a while people just stay homeless as it is less trauma causing even though that causes trauma too. Then all the problems with the places we rent cause bad rental histories because landlords are believed even when everything they say is a lie.

A meth lab was set up there and the other tenants were criminal types. The troopers knew about the meth lab and did nothing, leaving a four year old in the care of one of them. After Alaska and now Idaho it is clear the United States does not care too much about the welfare of children.

The landlords stole from me and did not provide services included in the rent and had been doing this to others for years. I told the police in Homer the story, they falsified a police report, demonized me and took no action allowing one of the meth cooks to sell meth and heroin in Homer for years. I believe it was the part about the prostitution and that they already knew about it, were customers or were involved. All the while the hapless cops in Homer were going, we have no idea why all these businesses are being broken into or where all the meth comes from. Then years later probation/parole out of Anchorage while looking for another guy caught him in their web. They allowed many people to be harmed including the perp who was young and addicted, needing treatment. I have a shitload of stories like this. The point was I was wrongfully imprisoned through corruption of officers of the court to cover up their corruption. They then tried to use the charge as leverage to get me to drop the appeal. I did not cooperate, but it did not matter because as per usual the public defender agency screwed me instead. They had all committed crimes and the lawyers should have all be disbarred. everyone got appointments and promotions. The two sociopaths should have been charged with multiple counts of theft, animal cruelty, filing a false police report and for one of them perjury in court. Oh and he also threatened to hire someone to beat me, so some kind of assault. Nothing happened because those two scumbags would spill their guts about the conspiracy so the assholes of the court protected them. Two of the players are right now trying to become judges and lying their asses off about me.

 I had the post conviction case with me when I left Alaska and the Interfaith Sanctuary threw that one and two others along with documentation from FOIA requests in their dumpster. So what happened at Albertsons has affected me, but if this had not happened I would still be really pissed off.

*********
Last night I come to the shelter and now call the gate where we enter the Brandenburg gate, Ich bin ein Berliner, brown shirts and SS, hehe. When they asked for my bed and locker number I told them but then said that I would rather sleep under a bed in the men's dorm. The student looked very confused and started to tell me that was not an option, but the staff cracked up. Then I explained that had happened and when the men told me in the morning I said that maybe trying that would be a good idea to help me get more sleep due to the crazy crap that goes on in the women's dorm.

This morning was my chore day. Now that we have lockers to put our stuff in rather than just having to leave it sitting outside at the shelter I have much less anxiety while doing them. I generally do not care which one is assigned. I only have problems with aerosolized bleach and if I am having a ME/cfs viral flare etc. and orthostatic doing something with lots of bending over is a problem, but that is not going on now. So I tell him I don't care about which chore. The problem was the bathrooms I was assigned to clean were to close at 7 AM but people in that area of the shelter did not get up and get ready to leave, so they expected me to just stand there and wait while one after another used the bathrooms. I finally started knocking on the door with two of them who did not even bother to hurry. One knocked on the door while I was cleaning and wanted me to come out then fiddle-farted around and the other one did too, then finally left without even flushing the damn toilet. So tired of this. What pissed me off was when staff finally came to intervene he tells me to go sit and calm down. No, I am not the problem, don't blame the messenger and don't make me have to stay there longer due to the actions of others. I was Johnny-on-the-spot to do what I was supposed to do but no one else was, capisce? I am very tired of paying for the sins of others in that shelter. But what really matters to them is my flip-flops in an extra plastic baggie.

Call the BPD an extra baggie was used.

Several Nights More Hellish Than Usual in Hell and Albertsons Falsely Accuses Me of Shoplifting,

After several nights of getting about three hours of sleep due to a bunkmate who shakes the bed and gets up and down many times from between two and three AM until just before time to get up when she goes back to sleep I am ill, exhausted and in lots of pain. There is also the emotional abuse from some of the shelter staff that has greatly contributed. Every night at lights out the bunkmate and another woman in the dorm yell and exchange insults at each other. Then there is all the other noise in the dorm, people actually talking on cell phones after lights out when people are trying to sleep. Who would do that you ask, well there are many there who would. I often can't believe what is going on but I hear it and see it. Texting or reading something on a cell phone is not a problem all night long if they don't flash the light around (student staff have done this), but all sound should be turned off. That is just common courtesy but many completely lack it. Last night before lights out it was just nuts in the women's dorm, yelling, singing, someone playing some show loudly. Some were trying to sleep and some were trying to read. Add to this the ones who have not bathed in a long time and have dirty clothing on so their body odor is wafting everywhere. I don't like to report the problem behaviors so people don't lose their beds, so try to talk to them. After several nights of the continuing problem and now I'm ill and being told to shut up when trying to act like an adult and talk to them I no longer care.

Last night was really bad and I did tell staff that came in the dorm. She said it was the super full moon and they were having problems in other places. I do believe in the full moon effect having been an RN in ER and critical care. However, the main problem is the mix of people who are now in the dorm, many problems.

This morning men told me a woman was found under a bunk in the men's dorm. They saw her feet and at first said, "Sir", then realized it was a woman. One of the men told me it was due to a problem in the women's dorm. It could have been the crazy behavior, the noise or bullying. I don't know. She may have been trying to get some sleep there since the women's dorm is so loud or maybe felt safe with her husband in there. Does she have PTSD? I understand if she does. I told them after last night, hey that sounds like a good idea, maybe I could get some sleep by hiding under a bunk in the men's dorm. When I come in tonight and they ask me my bed number I'm going to say, under a bunk in the men's dorm. Hehe.

I was bullied night before last as I wrote in the last post upon trying to get an un-contaminated towel for showering. Last night being exhausted both physically and emotionally I decided not to ask for a towel and brought a wash cloth to dry the important parts off but would mostly just stay wet and just put on my pajamas. That is how bad it is there, that I would go without a towel to avoid contact with the bullies. Sometimes I enjoy their bully show, but with the lack of sleep and the ME/cfs brain fog that results I just need to lay down, but can't. The staff in charge asked me if I wanted a towel and I told him my plan, he gave me an un-contaminated towel with no bullying. Thank you!

After another nightmare night and having heard more sad stories about thrown away possessions etc. I was not doing well. I got on a bus to go get some new ear plugs at Walmart, I almost fell down a couple times due to the neurological symptoms and dropped things all over the place I now have the POTS tachycardia. I threw up in the bathroom. After getting off the bus I went to Albertsons which was right by the bus stop to get vegetables for my health and a couple other things. My day got more disturbing.

This is the bag I take to the shelter. That is a baggie with a used wash cloth in it and a roll of garbage bags under it. I was accused at Albertsons of it being lunch meant, in other words accused of shoplifting. I am a good customer there, why treat me like that?

The police told me being accused by a store of shoplifting is not a crime in Idaho, it is in some other states. So as per usual I am completely on my own. I was very distraught so he advised me to contact CWA for some resources. That is the Children and Women's Alliance. I explained that even though the Interfaith Sanctuary is domestic violence that I would not qualify. I told him I had gone over there for trauma counseling and that I had a history of a huge amount of trauma. When the counselor who I liked left I was referred to another one. I always make sure since this is a red state they know I am a liberal, not a Democrat, a real liberal so if they are right wing our time is not wasted. If you think it should not matter, you have no idea about social workers, prejudice and gossiping about clients. She told me what my other counselor did was not therapy, but it was and exactly what I needed, especially the contact with such a lovely person. That counselor I was referred to and came in to see if we were compatible went on to explain that I did not need counseling because I am resourceful and read. Yes, she did. Trying to get counseling for trauma is just about impossible in the United States if the person with PTSD is low income. Certainly, the ongoing constant trauma at the shelter is intentional and causes much harm not just to the direct target but also the observers. The treatment that works the best for PTSD is taking control of your life back, when living in a hellish homeless shelter of bullying and abuse where they make massive constant rules and not knowing from day to day what crazy things will happen or if you will be thrown out makes the PTSD much worse. You do not actually have to do something wrong to be thrown out.

Considering what I went through in Alaska being falsely accused and wrongfully imprisoned which resulted in my cat being starved and torture, my property being stolen or put out in the rain and my being forced into homelessness while being the victim of multiple crimes; the accusation at Albertsons today has caused me to cry most of the day and after the abuse at the shelter this has put me into shock. When I recover there will be hell to pay all around.

From August of 2014:

Six years ago [now 8 years ago] I was arrested for something I did not do. It was a conspiracy out of the Nome system of backwards injustice. Think small town in Mississippi in the 1950s, but brown people instead of black. As time goes by there is more understanding of the events because truth floats, even though they lie and cover it up. Those who do wrong use and hurt others to cover their crimes and bad behavior. I wonder how high up it went and if this severe abuse of power was done in an attempt to shut me up about what went on at Norton Sound Regional Hospital and the treatment of the Native people in that region. The Department of Law (attorney general's office) has their fingers in everything in Alaska and told Half-Governor Palin's staff not to talk to me or help me with anything. Filing the appeal was the trigger because the hearing I was not invited to attend happened three days later. Another factor is some of the players may have been bucking for a political appointment or promotions which in many cases did happen.

This was not what I intended to publish today, but the barrage of crazy abusive treatment for the homeless never ever stops and my abuse is quite bad due to my communicating my experiences and observations.

It's Joe Albertson's supermarket and the wrongful accusations are free. 


















 counseling for trauma due to my being resourceful and because I read, yes she said that to a woman who was an RN that worked some as a supervisor in an adult acute psych unit, but all nursing has psych. I have had many strange encounters trying to get counseling for PTSD, it is just impossible.

Not looking forward to another night of no sleep. No peace, no sleep,. "I'm a human being God dammit, my life has value."