|Where I brought a chair to sit among the shelves to find a little peace to work|
After having to as usual walk a long distance in the poor conditions due to the icy sidewalks in Boise Idaho for anyone who must walk. Almost daily I walk on ice to get some healthy food and had to get around the massive construction projects.Today was the point in time count of the homeless in the United States. I am very disillusioned by horrible treatment of the homeless in this country so did not tolerate it early this morning. I was harassed at the Interfaith Sanctuary again by Dan Ault who does these frequent episodes where he picks some untrue bullshit theme and repeats it to me every time I’m seen, so clearly it is harassment as the only other explanation would be intellectual impairment.
I then went to the library. Had to go to the noisy first floor due to the painting upstairs that they failed to inform people about which made me sick, once again. Before I could sit down someone approached me with his point in time questions. No peace, no stopping the reminders that I am homeless for one fucking second. My reaction was yes, I am homeless and have a homeless card to prove it, that I was harassed at the Interfaith Sanctuary once again by Dan Ault last night so not in a great mood today for this. I go into a public place in pain needing to just sit down knowing the area I must sit in is going to get nuts and right off the bat slapped in the face with being counted, FFS! I tell him those numbers are not necessarily being used for the purposes they are told and what difference does it make anyway, nothing ever gets better, they just tell better lies about housing and how we are treated. Then I went into my McCarthy routine, “Are you now or have you ever been a card-carrying member of the homeless party? Yes Senator McCarthy I’m a card carrying member.” This country is pathetic and things are only going to get worse.
First when Dan starts I ask him isn’t he going to tell me about some list of apartments that does not exist stating he’ll give me a copy of it like he’s done over and over. He did that one for weeks telling me the same BS and never producing the list, oh and telling me how he and Tim find someone housing every day and get this he finds the apartments on Craigslist. It’s funny how hardly anyone leaves the shelter to go to housing but so many are helped to find it, quite odd. I have been on that Craigslist for years looking all over the country for a rental that I can afford and will accept my social disabilities. There is a reason I know there is little low income housing in this country and the system has been rigged to prevent certain categories of people from being able to have a place to live or even live.
Last night the theme was my complaints are all because I need mental health counseling. Really now? I have PTSD, but not psychotic, nor do I have a personality disorder as was documented before I got PTSD. I am depressed due to the shelter stealing my civil cases that would have helped me get justice and housing along with the horrible conditions I live in, but Dan had a hell of a lot to do with all of this along with receiving continuous trauma making my PTSD constantly triggered. He told me in the past about some woman at some agency who I supposedly had an appointment with. But wait, someone at the Children’s and Women’s Alliance told me I needed no counseling at all. LOL. Welcome to the world of health care for the low income, but especially the homeless. One time you get some crazy diagnosis and the next time there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, both are wrong. Those working with mental health are often poorly educated, often social workers with little appropriate experience and can do lots of harm to people. When I went to the so-called appointment the woman did not show at the appointed time and then it was revealed it was a cattle call, no way did I stay for that. Then later Dan tells me this woman is going to call me, she did not. Now Dan tells me he has formed a relationship with some other woman. I say, “Someone wants to form a relationship with you?’ I then say it’s probably that same org of incompetence so thanks but no thanks and yes it was. I was wondering if this woman is familiar with Dr. Hare’s psychopathy checklist.
At least he did not stalk me down the little hall this time to keep other people from hearing, there were several witnesses, “He called you over for that!”
During this last crazy episode, he intimated I was crazy and needed counseling, lazy and that I was just blaming others for my problems. The Interfaith Sanctuary is such a therapeutic place she said sarcastically. I said, “Dan, one path, just one path for the elderly and disabled” pointing outside where there is ice all over the property. Some was eliminated between the buildings and Conex boxes where people go to get their frozen shampoos, soaps and lotions. There I a large area when leaving the property that is quite treacherous and then the alleyway is very dangerous. There are many dangerous areas in Boise Idaho for pedestrians due to the crazy regulations that property owners are to take care of the sidewalks, but there is obviously no enforcement at all. Dan’s response to me was predictable, because their responses are always aimed at trying to shame the homeless person who complains about safety issues.
A man recently asked night shift if he could put out something to melt the ice and was told he could buy it himself. I have had an evening shift staffer several times tell me there were not hot beverage cups when I mentioned people could not drink coffee in the plastic cups. People do drink out of them either no knowing or not caring that the plastic will leach out and cause harm to their health. The staff doesn’t give a damn either. I knew he was lying when he told me this, but he always adds this dig about people taking three cups at a time and how the shelter has limited funds. Putting out one kind of cup so another type must be used in the morning does not conserve resources. Assholiness comes from those who are illogical and like to bully people which is very easy to do when you have a building filled with voiceless homeless people. When I tried to complain about the rude things he said to me and state that hardly anyone is taking three cups I was treated like shit as per usual.
Dan told me I could go out and get a shovel, this is after I had showered and put on pajamas. Keep in mind the property has pretty much been in this condition all winter and was like this all last winter. Another serial bully named Tim a few months ago, when the subject of my falling last winter on the ice at that time came up told me they had just not gotten to removing the ice yet. Horse crap! They threw some ice melt down right after I fell which did little and the ice was there all winter. I know because we had to stand on it when there was no place to go in the freezing cold waiting for the shelter to open. I have pictures of the frost bite on my toes from this. I told Dan that the ice was packed and it would take more than a shovel to remove it. I have no work gloves or Carhardts due to the polices which Dan implemented last winter that resulted in my property in my suitcase being stolen by the shelter, it’s staff and minions with property being taken or thrown in the dumpster.
Then I explained to Dan that I used to do extra but got screwed over so stopped and that there were many other people like myself. I was the only woman who went outside to work. I swept the storage buildings where they kept the filthy plastic bins our property was in for so long and then picked up garbage all over the property. I started before everyone else and finished after most of them. I was suddenly told I could not start until 7 AM which did not work as the outside plastic bins had to be put away in the buildings at that time. Often their decisions and the things they say make no sense, some of the staff are aware of this but have been told what to do by higher staff. The fact that I took quite a bit of time, was doing at least two chores and doing them well did not matter to them. What mattered was sabotaging me, harassing me, making things hard for me and fucking me over. At that time, I said Ok then, I’ll just do one regular chore on chore day and that is it. NOW DAN WANTS TO TRY AND IMPLY THAT I AM SOMEHOW LAZY OR IRRESPONSIBLE, REALLY! No, I am not the irresponsible one, the one who makes bad decisions, no that is someone else.
Dan also told me I need to save money to get into an apartment, really? I’ve been looking for over a year and before that looked somewhere else and have searched all over the country. Where and when will I find this apartment? I told Dan who was an ass for saying this to me in front of people implying that I fritter my SSDI away. No, I have ME/cfs which is not treated with medication which would be covered by my medication insurance, no I must buy supplements and vegetables to treat the massive problems of ME/cfs and I must do this all alone. I buy some healthy food, not enough healthy food, but some. He can fuck off, I told him that I was choosing to stay alive. What is the point of an apartment when one is dead which I would be if I did not have the good judgment to do what I do with my SSDI?
I told Stephanie Day the homeless coordinator in Boise that it is more expensive to be homeless than to have a place to live for me and it’s true. If I could cook, then much of the supplements would be added to the food in a cheaper form and could be bought in cheaper bulk form. Doctors do not know how to treat ME/cfs, but I do, in fact they generally are abusive to us and cause huge problems. Leave me the fuck alone.
|At the Boise Main Library today.|
During this BS episode, I told Dan, “You got nothing, nothing.“ That was about his BS counseling and the past lies about finding housing. I also brought up the propaganda that is often in the news media. Just the previous day I had read something channel 2, KBOI had on their website quoting a person from the Interfaith Sanctuary saying the weather was why the homeless were having such a hard time with the viruses and all, so they needed cough drops and cold remedies. I went by KBOI to inform them that no, the weather has not got a thing to do with catching the virus other than viruses do transfer a bit easier in cold weather, no it is the horrible conditions we live in, the poor nutrition, the lack of appropriate personal hygiene, the stress of being bullies, the trauma, the demoralization of the homeless. The cold weather if one has influenza can make the symptoms worse or last longer, but does not cause one to get ill from a virus and the snow hasn’t got a damn thing to do with it.I also told KBOI that they were responsible to clear the sidewalks as the city of Boise apparently hasn't told many property owners yet, just volunteering to help out, hehe.
Yes, people need cough drops and the hand warmers are important as many have only one pair of shoes and often they are not appropriate for the weather and hand warmers can be placed inside them at night to dry them out. I was treated like a pariah by the troll who guards the door to the offices of KBOI. This is what happens when so called news media is grossly interested in kissing butts rather than reporting the truth.